Wednesday, February 25, 2009!
fana HandWritten on; 3:35 AM
i'm sure you wonder why after so long, i decided to switch on my com, sit in front of it, and type out what im going to type to you pple.
my heart is really thorn, and very hard to fix now.
i was hurt, sure i was.
i told you, helped you in every way,
but still, u said those words.
you think i dnt understand?
but, no, i actually do.
very much.
you didnt see it didnt you?
but after all those i still didnt care
cos i tot the love btwn us will help you.
help you find out the reason.
sadly, this had to happen.
i regret, very much.
and im sorry.
you told me got to study, i know u do.
i helped u in the process.
i tried to, at least.
i rarely call you at night, dnt normally meet you.
and even sumtimes, dnt even contact with you much.
wad more you wan me to sacrifice?
i dnt mind doing all that.
cos i know u nid it.
i understand, very much.
when u had games, i tried to come down.
i waited for you after most games.
i dont mind.
then, now, ur results dropped.
& u say, time for me will decrease.
at first, its hard to understand.
but i did try.
i took time off from studying
& wrote u a letter so you will be motivated.
im glad u liked it ;D
but parents issue came, and worsens the situation.
i know family matters cant be helped.
so i just kept quiet even tho it hurt me so much.
blaming me for all the bad things dat had happened to you.
maybe it was my fault?
who knows, rite?
cos i forget things,
so maybe i was stupid enuf to forget about ur other commitment ,
was i?
maybe so.
so i choose to ignore.
but NOW, right NOW.
you say.
i gotta focus now.
cant spend much time with you.
nid to buck up.
now YOU tell me,
wads the cause of your results dropping?
ME is it?
wahh, the way you say it, it was mine.
rite??
cos i spent too much time with you did i?
cos i took so much time away from your studying time.
hey, i dont mind if you need me to sacrifice kay .
but i just am really hurt cos
you treat as tho im the cause of ur results dropping,
and ur parents acting like how they did.
or wtv it is.
i ask you smtg, now ur results are dropping,
why not stop ur sport activities and othe commitments too.
so u can focus?
and why aren't they the cause of ur results dropping??
why let it be my feelings dats sacrificed alone?
sumore for smtg i didnt really do.
if you nid me to help you study, i can okay.
im more than happy.
if you nid me to give you time to study i can.
indirectly blaming me for wtv that's happen isnt fair okay.
really isnt.
ep for me.
i too nid to study.
i too got bad results.
i too got other much more impt commiments.
but i still balanced everything.
and put ur feelings first.
i jus am really sad,
cos i tot ur love for me will prevent this.
but it didnt.
finally, i regret feeling wad i feel rite now.
but i cant changed it alrd.
its fixed,
for now.
